Have you got toxic people around you? It's time to let go!

January 28, 2019

“It’s all part of life. People will cause you pain, hurt you, put you down, and make you feel bad about yourself. It’s how you react that will determine the outcome. Remember they are powerless until you choose to empower them. Don’t give them the ammunition they need!”

Mufti Ismail Menk

Our world is beautiful Ma Shaa Allah; lots of beautiful, positive minded people to mingle with. However, some people are surrounded by negative, arrogant individuals, who find joy in letting others down in a bid to elevate themselves. These people, if not discharged appropriately, could leave you feeling unsafe or depressed for the rest of your life.

You need your sanity? Let them go!

Below are some ways to recognize toxic people

1. You lose your confidence around them.
2. They brag about their success in a bid to make you feel inferior.
3. They emphasize on your weaknesses and ignore your strengths.
4. They are judgmental.
5. You put your heart and soul in your relationship with them, with a deep feeling of owing them.
6. They are manipulative.
7. They gossip and complain about everyone.
8. Their negativity slows you down in achieving your goals in life, possibly leading to anxiety and depression.
9. They will be there for you in failure but feel too jealous to share your success.

Let them go... Use these tips

1. Tell them how you feel – Invite them for a discussion and let them know the effects of their attitudes on you. Do not be apologetic. Just be confident and firm.
2. After your discussion, give them time; sort of a second chance to see if they are willing to change.
3. If they are not willing to change, it’s time to let go. Go ahead and create a distance. Let them experience how it’s like to live without you. Toxic people get nervous when you keep boundaries. If you meet, be nice but firm.
4. Get busy, go out and explore. Find other relationships but choose wisely. Soon, you’ll be able to replace toxic people with good people.
5. Teach people how to treat you. How do you do this? Be confident and treat yourself right. Get rid of your negative self-talk. Your views about yourself will set the standards for how you will be treated by others.

You can’t change anyone, but you can manage the behavior you expect from them. With self-consciousness, you will be able to teach people how to treat you, and if they prefer to be manipulative rather than respectful of your feelings, let them go. An unhealthy relationship might end up damaging your health. I know it’s hard to let go, but know that your sanity matters.

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